


All Over Again

by fayzrunner



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Memory Loss, accident au, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 01:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2903873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fayzrunner/pseuds/fayzrunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas and Newt were the perfect couple. Until one day Newt has an accident.<br/>And doesn't remember anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Over Again

     Thomas has been pacing for the last 4 hours outside the operation room. Minho gets up from the chair and hugs Thomas, stopping him from pacing. 

      "I shouldn't have let him go out alone, in the  _rain_. This is my fault, this is my fault..." Thomas is crying into Minho's shoulder, hugging him back. Minho holds him hard, trying not to cry as well. He soothes Thomas, patting his hair, whispering, "This is not your fault, it's going to be okay. Shh, it's okay."

Thomas says nothing.

* * *

 

 Thomas thinks back a few hours, when he received that dreaded call. He was in the living room, reading a book. Newt came in, and said, "Hey Tommy, we ran out of milk, I'll go get some okay?"

Thomas looked up from his book. "It's dark and raining, Newt. I'm not sure it's such a good idea to go out now.”

 "It's just drizzling, it'll be fine! I'll be back soon okay?" He went towards Thomas and kissed him lightly. He grabbed the car keys, waved goodbye and went out the door. 

      He continued reading. An hour passed, but Thomas didn't think too much of it. The nearest grocery store was pretty far, and always crowded, no matter what time of day it was. Suddenly a loud crack of thunder sounded, startling Thomas. He looked out the window, watching the downpour. He was mesmerized for a minute, watched how the rain just got heavier and heavier by the minute. He then thought of Newt. He probably forgot his umbrella, as usual. Thomas went back to reading. 

      Another hour passed, and now Thomas was slightly worried. He was pacing, his phone in his hand. He tried calling Newt a few times, but it kept going to voicemail. Thomas' heart was pounding, he was sure the neighbours could hear it. He tried calling Newt again, but all he heard was Newt's recorded voice, 'Hi! I'm not available at the moment, leave a message after the beep!'. He disconnected the phone, and walked around, trying to distract himself from his worry. 

_Newt's okay, yeah, he's fine. He's probably buying loads of junk food._ Thomas thought.  _Maybe he hit traffic._

He kept looking at the clock. It was now 12:00am. Newt's been gone for 4 hours. 

_"I'll be back soon okay?"_ Newt's voice went through Thomas' head. He was scared now. He realized he had walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, finding something to eat. Maybe that would take his mind off this. 

The phone in his hand started ringing all of a sudden, scaring Thomas. He thought it was Newt, so he answered, saying, "Newt! Where are you!?"

"Is this Thomas?" a deep voice replied. This was not Newt.

Thomas felt his heart beating faster. "Yes, why?"

The voice hesitated before speaking. "This is the police. There's something wrong."

"What?" Thomas was fearing the worst.

"Newt was in an accident. They're taking him to the hospital right now." 

* * *

Thomas keeps reliving that moment where Newt said goodbye, how he kissed him. 

_I'll be back soon, okay?_

He doesn't even bother to stop the fresh tears falling, wetting Minho's shoulder. Thomas had called him immediately after the police disconnected, and Minho was there in less the 10 minutes. There were just in time to see Newt being wheeled into the E.R., about 6 doctors all around him. 

   All that blood.

   Newt's limp body. 

   Thomas had almost fainted, holding onto Minho to keep his balance. 

   He's now dozing in the chair. Minho had insisted he get some rest.

   Then the doors open, and Thomas is wide awake. The doctor walks out, a tired look on his wrinkled face. Thomas and Minho both stand up, awaiting and dreading the news.

   The doctor sighs before starting. "He's stable. He lost a lot of blood, and broke his arm and leg. He's very, very lucky." he looks at both Thomas and Minho's relieved faces. "He's awake now, but there's something else you need to know."

   "I'm sorry, can it wait? I need to see him," Thomas doesn't care if he sounds rude. The doctor will understand. 

    The doctor sighs again, and nods. He takes the two boys through the door, and there's Newt, on the bed, awake. Thomas almost gasps; Newt's forehead is wrapped up thickly in a bandage, most of it a bright scarlet. There's bruises and cuts all over his sweet, sad face. His left leg is in a heavy cast, being suspended by a pulley on the ceiling. 

   "Newt!" Thomas yells, running towards the blond boy, Minho right behind him. He hugs him hard but carefully, watching out for his broken arm. "I'm so so sorry, I shouldn't have let you go out, this is my fault. I'm so so sorry." Newt says nothing, does nothing. Thomas lets go slowly, a little confused. "Newt?" he whispers.

   It takes a while before Newt realizes he's being called. He looks up to Thomas, and tilts his head, dazed. 

   "Do I know you?" he says, his voice slightly hoarse.

   Thomas doesn't understand. He thinks it's a joke. He laughs nervously. "Haha, very funny. Okay, I'll bite. I'm Thomas," he looks at Newt's blank face for a minute. "Your boyfriend?"

 Newt shakes his head. "I've never seen you before in my life."

 Thomas stops smiling. 

* * *

 "He lost his memory?!" Thomas screams at the doctor. They're both outside the room; Minho's inside talking with Newt.

The doctor doesn't blink at Thomas' tone, obviously expecting it. "I tried to tell you. Judging by the the wound on his head, he must have hit his head on the steering wheel really hard. This can sometimes lead to memory loss. We aren't sure if it's permanent," he trails off.

Thomas is silent. His heart is pounding again, as it was when Newt didn't come home. Tears form in his eyes.

"So..so he doesn't remember anything? Anyone?"

The doctor nods solemnly. "Again, we aren't sure if it's permanent. Pictures, places, and even smells can trigger memory recovery. Maybe it will come back."

"But you aren't sure when." It wasn't a question.

The doctor hesitates. "No." But Thomas isn't listening. He sits down on the chair, letting the tears fall. 

* * *

  The doctor says that they need to keep Newt for a few days to make sure everything's okay. "You two should go get some rest. He'll be fine," he pats Thomas' shoulder gently.

Thomas tells Minho to wait outside. "I'll just say goodnight to him."

"You sure you'll be fine?"

Thomas tries to smile. "Yeah, I'll be okay." Minho nods and Thomas stands at the door, takes a deep breath, and walks through. Newt looks up when Thomas enters.

They just stay like that for a few seconds, an awkward silence growing between them. Thomas suddenly doesn't know what to say to the one person he could tell anything to.

Thomas clears his throat. "So, uh, they're gonna keep you here for a couple of days, just to, you know, double check everything."

Newt nods, distracted. Another few seconds go by. "So you're my boyfriend?"

Thomas is surprised by the question. "Uh, yeah, I am. We've been together for almost 3 years now."

"Huh. That's a long time." 

"It is," Thomas' voice wobbles. 

"I never thought I would have a boyfriend."

_Well, you've lost your fucking mind, you don't know what you would think,_ Thomas almost says out loud. He's angry, angry at Newt for going out, angry at himself for  _letting_  him go out. Thomas nods awkwardly, unsure what to say.

"So, I just came to say goodnight," Thomas says. "I'll be here tomorrow to check on you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Goodnight." 

"Goodnight," Newt says, yawning. He presses a button and his backrest descends. Thomas turns to leave when Newt says, "By the way, what's your name?"

Thomas feels a stab in his chest. Without turning, he says. "Thomas. It's Thomas." He walks out the door without waiting for his response. 

"I'll be back soon, okay?" Newt had said.

Oh how wrong he was. 

* * *

 Newt spends a couple of minutes at the doorway, admiring the apartment. "Wow. Nice place."

Thomas smiles a little. "We bought it together. There were so many people after this place. Your bargaining skills were off the charts that day. I guess no one can say no to that face," Thomas points to Newt. They're silent again, Thomas reliving the memory, Newt watching him.

"Here, come in," Thomas says, helping Newt with his crutches. He closes the door. Newt limps towards the giant window, looking down 36 floors. Thomas remembers the first night in this apartment, they had opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate, drinking while they watched the flickering lights of the city below them. 

"Congratulations on your new apartment, Newt," Thomas had said, hiccupping slightly.

"And congratulations to you too, Tommy," Newt smiled. They moved closer until their foreheads were touching, giggling all the while.

"I love you Tommy," Newt whispered as he kissed Thomas.

"Hey," a voice says, snapping Thomas back to reality. Newt is pointing to the pictures on the shelf. The pictures of them.

"Is this us?" he asks. He picks up the selfie they took at the beach, Newt sunburnt and smiling wide, Thomas laughing at Newt. 

"Hmm? Oh yeah, that's us."

"We look happy."

Again, Thomas doesn't know what to say. Newt doesn't seem to notice his silence. He keeps looking at all the frames, running his fingers over the faces.

"So what was I like? Before?" Newt says. 

"Hmm?" Thomas mumbles, distracted. "Oh, um. You were-" Thomas stops. How can he describe it? He looks at Newt, this new Newt, and he sees a person with the saddest face but brightest smile. He sees the one person that can make everything seem okay, the one person that could make the darkest day seem like the sunniest. A person that was so imperfectly perfect. 

How could Thomas describe that, to that very same person? 

"You were," Thomas starts again. "You were special."

* * *

 Months pass. Things grow distant between Thomas and Newt. Thomas tries to talk to Newt, shows him pictures and videos of them, trying to jog his memory. To get the Newt he knew and loved, but in vain. Newt remains indifferent and unknowing. Thomas feels like maybe Newt is trying to avoid him. He hardly sees Newt in the daytime, who's always in the spare bedroom. 

One afternoon, Thomas hears muffled swearing coming from the bathroom. He puts down his book and walks through the corridor and stops in front of the bathroom door. He knocks on the door.

"Newt? You okay?"

"Uh," a voice says. Thomas hears more shuffling. "Fuck."

Thomas remembers that Newt still has his casts. "Do you-do you need some help?"

He hears a defeated sigh, and then, "Yeah."

Thomas pulls the handle and opens the door, surprised that it's unlocked. He walks in and finds Newt standing there. His shirt his halfway off, obviously stuck at his arm cast. Thomas tries not to laugh, feeling the smile creeping on his face.

Newt sees, "Hey, it's not funny!" But he's smiling too. Suddenly they're both giggling at the situation, and it's like old times again. Then, all too soon, their laughter subsides and the awkward silence comes back. Thomas clears his throat. "Do you need help?"

Newt nods slightly. "Yes please." Thomas walks forward to Newt. He takes the sleeve on the side of his broken arm and carefully stretches it open, big enough to fit the cast. He slips off the sleeve and then, with Newt's help, pulls the shirt off Newt's head. Thomas takes the shirt and starts folding it, out of habit. "Here," he says, handing it back to Newt. 

"Thank you," Newt says, and they stand there for a few moments. Thomas suddenly realizes that Newt is shirtless, and he can't help staring at his bare body, his heart thumping faster and faster. And then Thomas takes Newt's face in his hands and he kisses him, after all these months Thomas kisses him, passionately and needy. And, just for a quarter of second, it feels like Newt is kissing him back.

Is this it? Does Newt remember? Did Thomas finally bring his Newt? Thomas' heart beats faster and faster at the possibility.  _Finally_.

Then Newt pulls away. No, not pulls away, actually  _pushes_  Thomas away. 

"What the hell?" Newt says, his tone stabbing Thomas.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Thomas stutters. "I thought-"

"You thought what? That kissing me would get my memory back? That it would make things better?" 

Thomas stays silent.

"Well, obviously it didn't. I'm still the person you despise."

"I don't-"

"Don't lie! I know how you feel. You're always looking at those pictures of us, of what we were before. And then you look at me, as if it's  _my_ fault I lost my fucking memory!" Newt is breathing hard now, anger flashing in his eyes. "I was in a bloody  _accident_ , and all you care about was getting back the person I was!"

Thomas is shocked, but still can’t say anything. He knows it’s true.

"You're selfish," Newt says, practically spitting the words.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!" Thomas yells, finally finding his voice. "How do you think I'm feeling? Here's the person I love, and he doesn't even remember who I am! Do you know what that's like? Being with that person, and seeing a stranger?"

Newt laughs without humour, shaking his head. He looks at Thomas with such a sadness it tugs at his heart.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Newt says quietly. He pushes past Thomas and walks towards the door.

"I didn't want to lose you," Thomas whispers again.

Newt stops at the door and sighs. "Maybe you already have." He walks out, and shortly after Thomas can hear his bedroom door slamming.

Thomas closes his eyes and finally lets the tears fall. 

* * *

It's been weeks since Newt moved out of the apartment, into a cheap hotel. He had left during the night, without telling Thomas at all. When he woke up, he found a note on the table:

_"It's better this way"_

He immediately knew that Newt had left him. 

It takes a while for Thomas to get used to the silence of the apartment, but most of the time he can't stand it. He usually ends up going to Minho's house, and drinking too much. Which ends up in Thomas falling asleep on Minho's couch. 

He's back again at Minho's, who welcomes him with open arms as always. But, after a few heavy drinks, Thomas doesn't talk about the usual crap he says when he's drunk. In fact, Minho is surprised; Thomas doesn't talk at all.

"What's up?" Minho asks, switching the channels. Thomas doesn't react. "Thomas?"

Again, Thomas says nothing.

"Alright," Minho says, switching off the T.V. He positions himself on the sofa so he faces Thomas, who finally realizes the T.V is off.

"You've been coming here for what, a month? Drinking yourself piss drunk and ending up passing out on my couch. Which is fine by me," Minho says. "But all that you can do at a bar. You come here, which means you want to talk. So talk."

Thomas takes one last sip of his drink and sighs. "Maybe I am selfish."

Minho waits for him to continue. 

"It was my fault. It was my fault he left. I-" he looks at Minho, tears forming in his eyes. "I tried to kiss him," he whispers. Minho moves and hugs Thomas hard, who starts sobbing. Minho doesn't ask who he's talking about. 

"I thought-I thought it would make everything alright. It would bring him back-I-" Thomas buries his face into Minho shoulder. After a few minutes, Thomas pulls away from Minho, rubbing his tear-stained face. He looks back at Minho's concerned face.

"He hasn't talked to me in weeks," he says quietly. "And I can't live without him."

Minho nods silently, taking in the information. "Well look at it in his perspective. He was in an accident and just managed to escape with his life. Except he doesn't remember who the fuck he is. And then some random dude starts claiming he's his boyfriend? That's quite a lot to take in."

Thomas laughs softly. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"So what do you do?" Minho continues. "Maybe start to accept that the Newt we know and love might be gone, probably forever." At that the smile on Thomas' face disappears. "But hey, that might not be such a bad thing, you know."

"So what do I do?" Thomas asks.

They're both quiet for some time, contemplating the answer. Minho breaks the silence.

"Why don't you start again?"

* * *

Thomas sits at the restaurant table, fiddling with the salt shakers, waiting. Finally he sees the tall blonde boy entering the restaurant. Thomas waves until he gets his attention. As Newt comes closer to Thomas' table he can feel his heart pounding harder. He goes over what he has to say in his mind again and again.

"Hi," Thomas says as Newt reaches the table. He pulls out a chair and sits down.

"You wanted to see me?" Newt says. 

"Ah, yes, yes I did."

"And you said it was urgent?"

"I said that because it was probably the only way to get you to see me." Thomas says. Newt laughs. Thomas smiles. "But yeah, I guess it's urgent."

Newt waits. "I want to apologize." Thomas says. 

"Oh?" Newt says.

"I'm sorry that I forced myself on you. It was selfish and inconsiderate, and I didn't think about how you were feeling," Thomas looks right into Newt's dark eyes. "I am truly, truly sorry."

Newt watches Thomas face, and then smiles softly. "I forgive you."

Thomas breathes out heavily in relief. He smiles back at Newt. 

"So, was that all this is for?" Newt asks. 

"Actually, I brought you here because I want to start again. Help rebuild your memory again, slowly." Thomas says, and holds his hand out. "So. Hi, My name's Thomas."

Newt looks at his hand, considering Thomas' proposal. Thomas worries that he might not take it, and then he sees Newt reaching out.

"Hi," he says, smiling. "I'm Newt. Apparently."

Thomas laughs, and for the first time in months, it feels real.

* * *

They are walking, hand in hand, through the park. Thomas says this is the park where they first met, all those years ago. Newt chuckles and comments at how cheesy that is. Thomas agrees.

They make their way to a huge tree, Thomas walking and Newt limping. Thomas helps Newt slowly sit down under the tree. Newt sighs as he sits. "Damn leg. I swear all that accident has brought is pain and unhappiness."

Thomas thinks back, almost a year ago now. "Yeah, I guess," Thomas nods. The two sit in silence and watch as the sun sets, Newt resting his head on Thomas' shoulder. 

"Well, actually I think the accident brought one good thing," Thomas says. 

"Oh?" Newt says, lifting his head to face Thomas. "And what's that?"

Thomas smiles. "I got to fall in love with you all over again."

Newt smiles back, and leans forward. The kiss is soft and gentle. Thomas kisses back, his mouth slightly open, trying to take it all in.

Suddenly Newt pulls away. "Tommy," he whispers.

Thomas stops. Newt hasn't called him that since-

_Since the accident._

"Newt?" Thomas says, his heart racing.

"Tommy," Newt laughs, excitement all over his face. 

"Oh my god," Thomas says, hand over his mouth, unable to process it. "You remember."

Newt touches Thomas' face gently, still smiling. His eyes are shining with tears.

"I remember," he says, before kissing him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man I've finally put this up!! it's taken me like a month but im so excited to post this newtmas makes my heart sing.  
> I'm sorry if the medical side of this is a little inaccurate, I tried.  
> Anyway i hope you enjoyed it!!


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